…on T that is. Yes, I know, 197 is an odd number to use as any sort of landmark. I just know that if I don’t blog about this now, I won’t. Never a dull moment in this life o’ mine.
Before I get into the transition stuff there are a few other things I want to write about.
1st – our good friends L & D closed on their first property yesterday and I’m really happy for them. Congrats guys!
2nd – It’s possible that I’m addicted to playing the new Super Mario Bros for Wii. (Thanks Santa) 
3rd – I got a Christmas card addressed to my old name from my father. Not only was it on the outside of the envelope, but inside the card. The card had money in it that I really could have used but I sent it back with a letter explaining why. This should be interesting.
4th – My father’s mother (my Memere or Meme’ since we’re of french canadian heritage) is in her 90s and sadly is not doing well. She’s been in the hospital for days with failing kidneys due to her diabetes.
I want to go visit her while I still can, but since my father told me when I disclosed that I’m trans that he didn’t want her to know so I’m in a very tough spot. My father’s side of the family is huge but I’ve never really been close to them. The only ones on that side that I even consider family are my Meme and an aunt or two. As far as I know, none of them know I’m trans. I’m afraid that if I just show up at the hospital, that somehow it would become about me when all I really want to do is see my Grandmother. I don’t know what their reactions would be… most of them I haven’t seen in years. Of course I also wouldn’t want to risk upsetting Meme in her feeble condition.
So.. dilemma!
5th – Red Alert. I’ve managed to raise $4500. which is so incredibly amazing thanks to my friends in blogland and in real life. You guys are awesome, I hope you know that. I really can’t express enough how touched and grateful I am for your support with this.
The balance due on my surgery is $5200. This means I’m still about $700. short (so close!!!). We paid for the trip to FL out of pocket and that was $1252.54 we don’t have a whole lot more that we can afford to contribute between now and then but we’ve got every extra cent budgeted to go towards food/incidentals while we’re in FL.
This is really my last public outcry for assistance. You’ve got to be tired of hearing about this by now, so I won’t be asking again after this I promise. I’ll remove the button from my sidebar as soon as the goal is met. We could really use the help if you have any cash to spare.
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Now on to the changes.
Hair – it’s getting thicker, longer and darker everywhere. I got one of those body groomers and trimmed it all, legs included because seriously I was looking like chewbacca. That just made me itch all over so I think I’m going to have to deal with being a really hairy guy. It’s in my genes anyway so I saw it coming.
Fat redistribution – I need to buy all new underwear because the ones I have are all too big. I’m happy to report that. My chest is also quite deflated.. lol. Who knew that so much of the breast was just fat?
Voice – It’s stabilizing and not as hoarse all the time. I’m getting to know it better and it doesn’t sound so weird to me anymore. I’m also starting to sing with a little more confidence when I’m in the car.
Sex drive – still pretty intense, but this week it hasn’t been as frustrating.
Muscles – I have not been to the gym in a couple of weeks so nothing big to report here. I have finally gotten to the point of being able to do consecutive pushups which is something I’ve never had the upper body strength to do.
T – 29 so far, 30 happens this Monday. I can’t believe it’s only been 6 months, but I also can’t believe it’s been 6 months already.
Here’s me right now:
Related posts:
30/12/2009 at 1:12 pm Permalink
Great update! Chewbacca
Big changes from #157. Looking great, Jess!
30/12/2009 at 1:13 pm Permalink
(Bah! I meant day #154.)
30/12/2009 at 1:34 pm Permalink
So many comments – where to begin…
2) wii – I can’t own one – I would be totally addicted to it (especially pinball)
3) The Card from your Dad – that sucks congrats on standing firm and sending the $ back despite how much you could use it.
4) Your Meme – if you can swing it – go see her, or at least call. There is no reason for you to go and announce you are trans – but if it comes up – you can acknowledge it. Frankly you are right – its about seeing someone you love and who loves you. Making you Dad comfortable isn’t as important as doing what you know is right in your heart.
Happy New Year !
30/12/2009 at 2:33 pm Permalink
LOL, Thanks Outlaw. You are looking pretty damn great yourself!
CAB, I think you’re right. I need to just go see her. She’s very hard of hearing so a phone call wouldn’t work.
And I think you should get a Wii.
30/12/2009 at 3:53 pm Permalink
Lookin good!!!! Sorry to hear about the touchy subject with your family. I think you are right though, it would be more about you and probably very rough on your ailing grandmother.
30/12/2009 at 4:42 pm Permalink
New Super Mario Bros is the best! I’m so glad Nintendo released it – they just don’t make games like Mario Bros anymore.
Congrats to your friends on closing on their place.
It must’ve been tough sending back the card and money that your Dad sent but it’s really commendable that you’re standing up for yourself like that. I hope your Dad gets the message in a postive way and stops using your old name.
Last year a good friend of mine from college was in the hospital. I wasn’t planning on going to see her since we hadn’t spoken in a few years. I finally decided to go and though she couldn’t really talk with me, she smiled a little and shook her head when I spoke to her. She passed away that weekend and I’m so glad that I went to visit her. Anyway, usually there aren’t many visitors during the day so if you can swing by then you might avoid any issues with the other folks in your family.
Nice pic!
30/12/2009 at 6:27 pm Permalink
My grandmother is 98 and knows that I’m lesbian, because my gossiping relatives could not stop talking about me one day, when I wasn’t around to share in the discussion. They assumed that because she was deaf, that she wouldn’t understand….silly people. My grandmother knows all. And while I can tell that she’s upset with me, I sense that has more to do with the fact that I haven’t been visiting as much lately. I love my grandmother – I think you should go, regardless of what your dad says. Our elders are smarter than we give them credit for.
30/12/2009 at 8:59 pm Permalink
I am so happy for you that you are sooo close to your $ goal! I wish I could contribute, but I can’t. I love the updates, though! Give Tina a hug from me!
01/01/2010 at 4:21 pm Permalink
Looking good, buddy! 6 months- wow. I’m really sorry about the situation with your meme, what a tough spot. Go with your heart I say. I also hope that people that care about you and/or read this awesome blog will step up and donate- SO CLOSE!!!
02/01/2010 at 7:11 pm Permalink
Great update, and I agree with jesse james – looking good. I didn’t even think about what it would be like to trying singing in the car with a voice that’s changing, wow.
Family is tricky, but don’t let their actions stop you from doing what’s in your heart. I think you’ll look back with pride that you sent the card back to your dad, and if I had to guess, later down the line you’d rather that you saw your meme than avoided a tough situation. Good luck with navigating that – I know it’s not easy.
02/01/2010 at 10:09 pm Permalink
Congrats! I’m at 166 days myself and nowhere near the hair growth you have. It’s awesome
I hope you can raise the funds. I’m grad-student broke and won’t have my surgery for another year or so at minimum… so I enjoy watching other guys move ahead.
Happy New Year!
04/01/2010 at 6:42 pm Permalink
Happy New Year!
I am addicted to Super Mario Brother’s…i could play it all night and day, but i have to take frustration brakes….it is driving me bonkers!!!!
I would have kept the money, some people will not change.