I wanted to talk to my boss about my transition last week, but sadly he lost his father and it obviously wasn’t the best time to tell him so I waited until he came back to the office.
I knew I wanted to tell him before my trip to FL with my family, but wasn’t sure if waiting until Wednesday was the best choice since anything could potentially happen between Mon-Wed and I really didn’t want that to happen.
After giving it some thought and asking a friend for advice ( I wanted to know if a heads up was a good plan since I don’t officially have a T start date or surgery planned) and the friend agreed that if the relationship is solid between he and I, that I should include him in the process and a heads up would make him feel included.
Coincidentally, my boss called me into a meeting late in the day yesterday after all of the staff had left. After speaking about some work stuff, I sort of just said it.
I told him I was transgender and he asked me to explain. I almost laughed when he said is that when you feel like a man trapped inside a woman’s body? I said that’s the basic feeling I guess, but less dramatic. I gave him some background and told him the plan.
The conversation went really well, and to sum it up, he has my back and thinks I have some major cohones. He said that if anyone did anything f#cked up to me that they’d end up face first in the parking lot by his hand. I thought that was a pretty cool thing to hear.
We discussed bathroom options for when the time comes. One option is to install a “unisex” restroom somewhere in the building (this would also benefit others when the restrooms are closed for cleaning so it wouldn’t be “for me”). The other is for me to begin using the mens room when I am legally male and when that happens, they’d take a no-fuss approach and just post a memo in the mens room explaining to the guys that they’d see me in there rather than a broadcast email to the entire building.
I personally don’t want any special treatment and either situation would be cool. The privacy of a single stall restroom would be pretty damn awesome I must say.
Anyway, I thanked him for his support and understanding. I told him that I’d do whatever I could to help explain it and to feel free to ask questions. He told me he gets it and that just really said alot.
I left to go home for the day after that meeting. When I got in my car I was so happy. I couldn’t believe that I had done the unthinkable. This was a huge step for me and I got it out of the way.
I called my beautiful wife and shared the news with her. Her excitement for me was so reassuring. It felt so good.
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19/05/2009 at 10:35 am Permalink
I’m so proud of you baby. I think you have MASSIVE cohones. LOL
Seriously though. That’s a big step and I’m proud of “the boss” too for how he handled it.
You look awesome in “light”.
19/05/2009 at 11:14 am Permalink
Wow man, good for you! Good for him too, it sounds like he handled that just right.
Have a fun and safe trip buddy!
19/05/2009 at 11:23 am Permalink
Congrats Jess – that’s a big deal and the fact that your boss was cool with it is even better.
19/05/2009 at 12:31 pm Permalink
That’s fantastic!
I love that you are so well supported.
19/05/2009 at 12:43 pm Permalink
Wow Jess congratulations, that was a huge step and I am glad it worked out the way it did for you.
19/05/2009 at 1:09 pm Permalink
That’s excellent. A really big step and such an important one, sounds like you have a great boss. And thank you, very much for sharing all of this.
19/05/2009 at 2:25 pm Permalink
I’m glad to hear everything went so well with the boss…
19/05/2009 at 4:54 pm Permalink
what a great boss. glad he was so understanding!
19/05/2009 at 5:57 pm Permalink
Way to Go, Jess!
19/05/2009 at 7:47 pm Permalink
What a serious milestone for you. Kudos to you for taking a brave step, and kudos to your boss for responding so positively.
19/05/2009 at 9:35 pm Permalink
Very different from my experiences 16 years ago. I’m so happy for you, Jess.
20/05/2009 at 12:27 pm Permalink
What a huge step — good for you! I’m glad your boss didn’t give you any cr@p about it.
20/05/2009 at 2:08 pm Permalink
excellent step forward, sounds like he’s taking a commonsense approach, which is just right imo.
20/05/2009 at 8:11 pm Permalink
Jess – you make me so proud, not that it matters, but you are a great couple and you sure have a great boss. Here’s to blue skies and green lights.
21/05/2009 at 2:18 am Permalink
wow Jess, I am really proud of you! That is a huge step. Good for you!
21/05/2009 at 7:20 pm Permalink
Wow, congrats to you on taking such a big step forward!
24/05/2009 at 8:51 am Permalink
That’s really wonderful. Congratulations to you!
26/05/2009 at 2:08 pm Permalink
SO awesome about your boss’ reaction and for you just doing what you had to do.
Hope your path continues to be a smooth one, my friend.
27/05/2009 at 9:12 am Permalink
Way to go Jess!
And Way to Go BOSS!
This is another milestone in your transition, one which you can thankfully look back and be positive about.